Screwed Horni Updates

FYI, I just woke up. Fell asleep at around 10pm and woke up at around 2am. When I woke up, I soon realised that my mother has not switched off the lights (both living room and kitchen), had not washed the dishes for me, rubbish bag not thrown. Generally it was the same state when I dozed off. I was really quite tired. Maybe coz I was stuck in a jam which was caused by this accident (sorry no English news up on the Internet yet). The bus was totally NOT moving for a good 30-45min, almost everyone was going crazy and was particularly irritated. I wanted to puke, and my calves harden and started to show signs of deep vein thrombosis or economy class syndrome. Ya, the jam was that bad. Slow moving traffic all the way from Clementi didn't help. In the end I reached home around 9pm. I even managed to catch part of Deal or No Deal on the bus.

To be honest, I was quite irritated/ disappointed with my mother for not helping me, especially when she knew that I was asleep as she had came into my room to told me that the previously mentioned accident injured 12 people. It is not that I am expecting my mother to do all the household chores, neither is it that she is not doing any chores -- she still does clean up the kitchen as the CNY is nearing.

It is just that of recent I feel more like a good-life maid than a daughter to her. Ya, she dotes on me and satisfies me materialistically (which is another problem; which I will elaborate later). She will not offer to help even if I am tired or busy. So in a nutshell, no matter what I am doing, how I am feeling, I will still have to finish all the remaining household chores. It is not that I mind doing chores, but at times when I am busy or don't-feel-all-that-well, I would really appreciate some minor help. There are times when I am like a maid, carrying all things big and small whereby my mother only carries her bag or bread. Once, she nearly threw her temper at me when I told her I was going to meet my friend after she had done some major CNY shopping. She was only appeased when I told her I will pick up the stuffs from the car when I am back. To pick up most of the items, I would have to go make 2 trips alone to the car. I've got to stress again -- I don't mind doing things for her, but at times I appreciate some minor help.

Of recent, I am really quite pressurised and tensed-up. I am feeling the pressure to start working and earning because:

1. I admit that my mum satisfies me materialistically, at times almost lavishly (eg Lasik treatment). But what most people don't know is that she requests the same treatment as well. Background: for her bdays and Mother's Day, without celebration and present would mean cold war for at least 3 days. Cheap gifts don't satisfy her. Since sec 2, I would spend around $100 on her birthdays. (for her recent birthday I had spent less than $100 though) Even giving gift itself is insufficient; but explaining that would go beyond financial aspects.
   
2. Ang Pow talk. Recently my mother asked me,"you are so old already you still dare to talk ang pows??" erm.. my uncles and aunties older than me are taking, and I am not married. Why can't I take?? What's the problem here??? Note: I am not too crazy over taking ang pows, but the fact that she is trying to restrict is disturbing. Mother had this conversation with me twice.
   
3. I once told my mother I will buy her a set of Corningware when I am 30. Note: a spoon from Corningware can cost a few dollars. So a set would cost me near $1000 or around $1000. She recently asked me why need to wait till I am 30 when if got promotion only $69 a set. Digress: I think that set is either out-dated patterns or just a small set.
   
4. As and when, she will mention that I am 24/25 already, but my savings is miserable.
   
5. Once, my show-off auntie bragged that her daughter bought her a Rolex (cost $8800) and my mother is very apparently jealous. In the end, the story is not valid though. My auntie's daughter did not really buy her the Rolex.
   
6. As and when, my mother uses words like 烂 to describe me, or things associated with me.

Generally.. Haiz..

Anyway, this morning I washed Hersheys' bowl, which was damaged by mother. In the end, I suffered a cut. TMD.

Looni: I was so worried about my hair being ugly loh. Luckily it was still ok. Anyway, haircutting was also problematic. Below is my MSN dialog with Sijia when I whined to her.

		Joycelyn		Si Jia		starting from the top.. i wanted to go last thurs.. but sis said she wanna do hair, so i waited for her.. coz mother gave "the LOOK" when i said i wanna go last thurs.. then in the end, STUPID sis said she not going do hair already..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		so i gotta go do hair myself.. then mon and tues the stylist i wanted not free.. so i settled for another stylist (who is actually my aunt), thinking that their skills shouldnt differ too much.. but i was WRONG..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		the stylist whom i wanted was better in perming hair.. then nvm.. after i permed my hair today, although i wasnt satisfied, i wasnt dissatisfied either.. coz i know it looked OK..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		after i permed hair i went to study at a nearby mac to wait for my mother to offwork so we can go home tgt.. since i was studying, i tied up my hair..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		then when my mother met me, she QUESTIONED why i tied up my hair after i just did my hair.. i was like pek chek, coz i explained that i was studying but dunno why she dun understand..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		digress: my mother dun understand a lot of things recently.. she like got comprehension problem... and i am not the only victim..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		then my mother was like chiding me that i should wait for the stylist i wanted. then i explained to her that i did expect the difference in their skills.. then she dun understand AGAIN..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		then the whole cyle repeated.. as the cyle repeats, i think more negatively abt my hair.. then in the end, when i finally got home, i was vexed and irritated and angry and frustrated..
		Si Jia		Joycelyn		icic
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		Digress again: not only coz of the hairstyle.. also coz of mother's comprehension problem + mother's nagging abt spring cleaning + mother's unwillingness to help me take stuffs, making me feel like maid..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		TMD TMD TMD TMD!!!
		Si Jia		Joycelyn		*hug*
		Si Jia		Joycelyn		cheer up girl...
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		then i just went to scold sister (she on phone) for starting this whole issue.. then she got pissed too.. which is apparently not helping in my mood..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		actually i am quite stressed (though not obvious)..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		i have been thinking a lot of abt studies, my complexion (which is BUANG), my body (which is CUI)
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		now, i have to think abt my HAIR and my sis and my Mum..
		Joycelyn		Si Jia		HAIZ..

So people, I am really quite screwed recently. So please ask me out to study or sth ok. I can't really take it anymore. And if, I snapped at you, it is really not intensional. You know that I love you. :)